I AM The Center of My Own Universe

am the center of my own universe. Another individual, a cause, an idea does not get that honor, just me. I am the one I have to answer to, I am the one who will have to live with the decision. At the end of the day, it's just me. I have the answers, I have to live with the consequences.


As a mother and wife this is a really, really, tough idea to grasp. I am told by society, my parents, my own psyche at times to put everything above me. When a child is newborn it makes sense. You have to give alot of yourself to have an infant survive those first few months. What happens afterwards?

Most people have something they serve. I don't. I have children and they do get the lion's share, but they are not the center of my universe. I am married but my husband doesn't get the honor. Anything I do for them ultimately serves my own purpose. I want them in my life. I genuinely want them to be around, I love them.


My father posed a question to me and it brought this idea home. "If you had to choose between your spiritual journey and your family. What would you choose?" I told him, "I would choose myself. The journey I'm on is to discover who I really am." My dad proceeded to explain that's where his failure lies. He put my mother above who he really was. He served her. The result was a broken home and alot of wasted time. He told me you find the message everywhere. Put yourself first. Be your own God.

Intellectual Suicide

When you have stopped progressing, have reached the point of refusing to listen to other's, have found an absolute truth, you have commited intellectual suicide. You are refusing the most fundamental part of life, change. You have to be willing to change, willing to reassess what you believe.

I wonder what would happen to "true believers" if science proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, God didn't exist. That they're idealogies were false. Would they believe it, or denounce it as "work of the devil"? On the other hand, if God was proven to exist, how would the average atheist fare? The same way?

We have to be willing to look at new things, read new ideas, even if they wind up being total garbage. Everyone approaches evey idea differently. No two people are the same. I adore the differences that are apparent between me and others. I learn that way. When someone asks me a question and I don't have a reasonable answer, I need to reassess why I believe that.

I have learned alot from mythology (I feel it's a good way to assess the subconscious). I have read alot of books on Wicca, Paganism, New Age materials, and while I use almost none of it, it is an essential part of who I am. It lets me see correlations and similarities to RHP and LHP ideas. I can explain the LHP in a way that mirrors the RHP. Sometimes you even find someone who has been searching for what you're referencing.

Which is basically my point. I don't believe in Wonderland. I don't believe that everyone who uses a certain word to describe their faith is right. I don't believe in aliens, ghosts, demons, Gods, elementals, or the like. I don't believe in Good and Evil. I don't believe in faith. I believe in doubt, logic, knowledge, reasoning, and science. I can't go another way. Why push me to suscribe to your interpretation? You may have commited intellectual suicide, but I haven't.

 

Satan is The Sacred Cow

Satan is the Sacred Cow
I was talking to a guy who was shit terrified of me. I kept telling him that I wasn't going to eat him or sacrifice him to the Dark Lord. He said something that answered a question I have had for awhile. "Satan is scary. I don't believe in Good and Evil, but if it existed, it would be Satan and Satanism."
Not wanting him to piss himself when he saw my screename, I asked if he had read TSB. His answer was, No (big suprise, eh). Then it hit me: Satan is the sacred cow.

People are terrified at the idea. We are raised being told that Satan is scary, dark, evil, etc. We are told from the time we are children (most people), that this is the one subject to never look into, to never touch. To even peek under the curtain at what Satan is, is to risk damnation.

When Anton LaVey wrote the book, it was even worse. The world hadn't lost it's virginity on what Satanism is or could be. They still viewed Satan as all powerful, all evil, etc. What most people fear is the most powerful thoughtform of all. Our fears are what hold us back, what keep us from moving forward. By calling his philosophy Satanism, Anton LaVey managed to destroy the idea of Satan as some intangible fear. He killed that sacred cow.

It takes a special kind of person to pick up a TSB and read it. It takes a person that is willing to look at things the average person won't. It takes someone who is willing to risk damnation in order to find out what is written inside. It takes someone who lacks superstition and fear of ideas. If you can even pick up the book, you are running a 50/50 chance of being a Satanist already. You are already exhibiting the characteristics he describes (or are a complete psycho, or both).

In conclusion, as Anton Levay said, "Satan is the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years."

The Darkness Within

We all have it inside of us.
A part that is angry,
a part that bleeds,
a part that wants to be freed.
It is the Id. The dark side.
Part of being a Satanist is embracing that part of you.
Knowing what it thinks and freeing it.
I am the Darkness that exists within.